Monday, December 18, 2017

I’m scared.

I always have been.

But this time, I can’t find an honest excuse why I would run away from it again.

I was certain it is just about time for me to try legit, live dating. Although I’ve thrown shallow alibis, mainly that I would like to focus more on graduate studies than date some school boy I don’t even know. But at the back of my mind, I knew I wanted to try. For the first time in 23 years, I was willing to give myself a shot at love (I’m rolling my eyes as I type this).

Two weeks ago, I saw you. In person. Live. We walked past each other in one of the school building hallways, and I instantly recognized you in your white long sleeves and black slacks. You are so much taller than I expected. And I told myself, “Ok, so this person really exists.” For a moment, I forgot you are two years younger than I am (I still haven’t wholly accepted this fact that I want to gag now).

Last week, we met unofficially. But we met nonetheless. I was so ready for it, but my friend got all nervous for formal introductions, and we missed the chance. At least, I hope, maybe we’ll still get another next year.

Of course, here’s the catch: After interweaving a few things I learned about you and having a few exchanges of text message, I start to want to withdraw from all this. The ultimate plot twist has nothing to do with it, but the fear creeps in and it hasn’t left since I realized how much of a good person you are. My friends virtually slapped me for telling them I don’t wanna push through with it anymore, saying, “This is it. This is someone you deserve.”

But how about what you deserve?

I’m scared.

As I always have been, but this time, I’m not scared that I might get hurt. I’m scared that you might be the one whose heart might break into pieces. And I don’t wanna be the reason for that.

I still want to try, but I’m scared. I’m scared, but I can’t find an honest excuse why I would run away from it again.

It’s a whole lot easier said than done, but I kinda don’t want to think later that in a parallel universe, maybe you could be mine if we can do it here in this lifetime.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

She puts the “sun” on Sunday.

She’s bright and glows in her own way. She has more wisdom in the depths of life than in basic knowledge of using an iPhone. She gives pieces of advice you can’t get from anybody else.

She’s frank and outright honest. She does not sugarcoat things. She doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, rather what you must hear although you don’t listen anyway.

She’s hot-tempered and cranky 90% of the time (10% goes to her indecisiveness). She floods your phone every day with whimpers about how tired is her soul that she already wants to go home next year.

She is like Sunday.

It’s the day of the week that you can either start or end with, but it’s the only day that everyone always awaits. Sundays are for family, loved ones or yourself. Sundays sound more like celebratory than agony. Sundays are for catching up after a week-long of work or school torment.

She’s patient and welcoming. She accepts your stubbornness because she has her own resistance. She’s someone you’ll grow comfortable with—you’ll share things from the least important gossips to the deepest darkest secrets you promise to take to your graves.

She’s the bestest friend you are sure to spend most of your Sundays with to do chill, stupid things together.

Happy silver birthday, C! 🖤

Building true friendship is difficult enough let alone making it last. Cheers to a long, worthy friendship, BFF!

Friday, June 30, 2017

It is rare to find people who will stick with you through ups, downs, lefts or rights. Of all the friends you will have from high school to college, there will only be a few who will be there on the days you still try to figure out life until you live it.

It is extraordinary to meet people who are patient in elaborating legal terms and lend you their codals while they struggle for their own midterms. That’s Abigail—she is always more than willing to share things with you, may it be annulment cases, hilarious memes or foreign television series.

She is benevolent and warmhearted. She is supportive and encouraging. She will answer your call on random moments and talk with you until dawn talking about random things but mostly about your embarrassing moments from high school. She will be proud of your achievements as if they are her own.

She is comical yet fragile. She is gregarious yet delicate. She will laugh her lungs out with you yet will cry her out alone. She will give company when you need it the most yet hanker for some when she needs someone to talk to.

That’s Abigail, Abby, B, Bestfran. Keep sharing kindness, and the world becomes more bearable. Happy (silver) birthday!!! 💜