First Anniversary

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

June last year, I met this man who never appealed to me at first look, nor at the second one. He was one of my goal-oriented group mates in National Service Training Program (NSTP), particularly Civic Welfare Training Service (CWTS). For the NSTP classes, all students enrolled were alphabetically arranged (by college as well) and divided into around 40’s per class. Maybe lucky enough, I belonged to the class where this man was also in. During the NSTP orientation, we met our hilarious facilitator, Marlon Florentino, and he asked us to group ourselves with about 10 members. We were nine in the group: six girls, three boys. Maybe luckier enough, we also belonged to the same group, where we will be group mates for two short semesters.

I have seen him a few times for our group activities, but he has never really caught my attention, not until this very same date last year came. Fieldwork of our class, C-AB-10, was scheduled that day and our group was assigned to a certain task to be done: teach children in elementary school in Nueva Ecija about physical hygiene. Having break with the bubbly kids, I heard him sing nursery rhymes with them. My attention was his after all. Isn’t it cute to watch a guy sing and play with kids? At least for me, it is. ♥

The school day after that, I would always remember, he approached me and asked for my name. (Perhaps, that is usually where everything starts, right?) I cheerfully went home, and as a part of my daily routine after school, I checked my Facebook account. A few notifications and one friend request—it was from him. Goodness gracious! Who would not like your crush sending you Facebook friend request? The next day, we saw each other and he talked to me again. This time, he asked for the photographs I took during our fieldwork since I was the head of our sort of documentation committee. Then I just thought that maybe, just maybe, it could be the bridge to something...better. And it surprisingly did for us. We started babbling through Facebook chat, then through SMS, then through face to face conversations. We got along and became friends. It was not too long, we became close, he became my crying shoulder and life adviser. Of course, I became the same for him.

Little did I know I always got all perky and sparkly each time he sends a simple “good morning” or “good night” greetings or even a “how are you? have you had breakfast/lunch/dinner?” message. What more when he calls just to check how my day was? The point is no matter how small the things we shared or the stuffs we knew about each other, these never fail to give me tinge of happiness inside. Since then, he turned into someone I never thought would be that special to me. His elusive exquisite voice attracted me at first, but his personality enthralled me in the end. Soon, I learned that I slowly appreciate every part of him—his strengths and weaknesses, and even his flaws. Is this what they call seeing an imperfect person perfectly? ☺

I was glad that all these blissful feelings never led to distraction. Often these days, teenagers would really go gaga over a girl or a guy that they either spend too much time thinking of the person or sometimes, just daydream of them being together or something, to the extent that they neglect their responsibilities. Some fail subjects, others lose their appetite and get sick, or both. They nevertheless did not happen to me because he became my inspiration instead. I learned to be more optimistic than I was. I strived hard to get thin and to achieve a high grade in Math, which I really suck at. So sure, I did succeed.

Still, as time went by, it was no longer a what-more-could-I-ask-for feeling, but a why-are-we-just-friends complain. But at most times, I was glad and thankful I met him. And for twelve long months, the special feeling I have for him never faded nor outgrew.

However, despite the happy feeling I always get whether it is being with him, talking with him, or simply confinding about him with friends, I still confuse myself sometimes. “Is everything worth waiting for?” and “Am I waiting for anything?” are the most questions I throw myself repeatedly. These even lead to the peak of giving up. Something like this has never happened to me before. Admiring a person for a year? The last time I checked, I was the kind of lady who only “crushes” the hottest celebrities or the most unreachable teachers in high school. And the longest infatuation I had lasted for just about four months.

I do not really know, I cannot really explain, but every time I think of giving up, he is always there and he seems to pull me back. I am not sure if the things that happen between us, may it be the simple “signs” of appearing the number 24, which reminds me of him, or a sudden playing of a song that I dedicate to him, are just coincidences or they have something to do with fate. I do not know if the crossing of our paths even at the most seemingly next-to-impossible time was all about destiny, or it is just me who gives these events deeper meanings.

But whatever happens, something inside me always tells me to just give it time. Some friends, and even Neal Maxwell himself said, “Faith in God includes faith in His timing.”—something I strongly believe in. And probably another thought that is worth remembering:

Don’t stop chasing.

I think that one of the biggest reason why relationships do not work out in the long run is because at one point, one side (or both) stops trying. Before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. They would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. They would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face. But once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. The 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. The constant calls turn into not calling at all. And the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. In order for a relationship to work, don’t ever stop chasing. Just because the person you want is now consider “yours,” it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over.

Lastly, do you want to know who this man is? This man is...

  • the man who looks good with a pair of Ray Ban sun glasses, but looks better without it;

  • the man who smells good with a few sprays of soothing perfume, but still smells good even without them;

  • the man who talks with so much respect and sings with so much deference;

  • the man who stands so still and walks so virile;

  • the man who dresses so sexy, yet moves quite professionally;

  • the man who loves McDo cheeseburger with medium fries and Coke float;

  • the man who I never noticed at first look;

  • the man whose eyes are tantalizing;

  • the man whose presence is really inviting;

  • the man whose initials are DJCL;

  • the man who calls me Ms. Pilosopo and I call Mr. Preoccupied as endearment; and

  • the man whom I never thought I’d fall in love with. ♡

*I promised myself to insert in this post the following photos: