Thou Shall Not Fall In Love With Thy Best Friend

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Since God knows when, I’m the type of person who feels satisfaction breaking some of whatever rules. I’d always recall my parents were once called to the school office because I stole a bar of candy from the cafeteria. I was only six then, and don’t worry, it never happened again.

As I grew older, I realized how much important the rules are. Without them, everything would be chaos. So I learned to abide by the rules and then lived a rightful and lawful life.

Until something cruel happened.

Just when I thought I’ve always been the good girl everyone knew about, here I am loathing myself from breaking one, worst, unwritten rule: Thou shall not fall in love with thy best friend.

I’ve fought all the thoughts that I might have had feelings for him three or four years ago. I’ve snubbed every scream for our non-platonic friendship extending to every “It’s crazy you’re not together”s. I’ve wrestled against each butterfly in my stomach whenever I’m with him. All because I thought to myself, “It’s nothing.”

I’m only realizing now how oblivious I’ve been. I should have listened to the people who said our friendship was never platonic. One way or another, I should have seen this coming. I should have known that if it wasn’t him who’d fall into the trap, it would be me. I should have discerned between the good nights, petty fights, long walks and deep talks.

There’s no guilty pleasure but I’ve broken the rule.

As a punishment, I would have to live in the Friend Zone for the rest of my life. But the truth is I can’t be friends with someone when I know I would always want more.