Thursday, May 25, 2017

There are things that we cannot avoid. There are people that we cannot run away from. There are events that we cannot pretend never happened.

It hasn’t even been a week since I was slapped with some cold words ending up in my fury, raising an argument in the middle of the night. It wasn’t even a personal conversation, to begin with, but a work-related coordination that comes before a notification every night he is almost home. One night, it was followed by a fair warning of texting only at times he is outside. That’s when it hit me. Hard.

What am I to you???

I got offended. I was affronted. It felt like someone just threw a brick directly at me. It felt like I had to gulp that I was just thought to be like some sort of side chick. I’ve let several things pass but not this.

It was not a friend this time who was just trying to protect me from his partner. It was a cheater who was trying to set rules for someone he maybe liked for quite long, he probably thought he stood a chance.

But I’m not that low. I wasn’t going to let my worth be demeaned like that, especially not by someone I never have the eyes for. This isn’t easy in spite of the good, (extra) friendly things he has done for me and the efforts he put through to keep me from feeling all sorts of pain.

No matter how much I flaunt my value, I’d always have the forgiving heart. But I’ll still try to avoid these kinds of things and stay away from the same kind of people without really pretending that some events like this never happened.