Sweet Resistance

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I’m afraid writing will jinx the consistency, but sod it. I’m putting it to words anyhow. Not talking to, or with, you has never been this easy, difficult, chill, tiring, calm, anxious...name it! But trust me, it’s more of a positive thing than a negative one.

Whether it’s a short-lived phase or a long-term phase (certainly hoping the latter, though), I’m glad I’ve stepped into this. The struggle was real enough to be freed from thoughts of you, never mind your presence literally everywhere—malls, parks, roads we’ve all been to, even my house for Christ’s sake—but at least, now I’ve returned to the independent woman I’ve always been.

Funny how at one point I thought I’ve mistaken it for romantic whatever, like love more than what we all know, but I’m close to a conclusion that it’s way far from that. I’m amazed at how the human brain works that I confuse myself ninety percent of the time, recently so to speak.

It takes time and both presence and absence for me to be able to come to a conclusion over the evaluation I’ve been secretly trying to do. I just didn’t want to jump right ahead of it. For now, anyway, I’m glad we have the space we both deserve. I hope you’re doing well nonetheless. And don’t get me wrong, it’s a sweet resistance after all.